Reggie can tackle my bush.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
