Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
