I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
