Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she told me i tasted like america
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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