There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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