Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
