i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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