just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
