did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
