would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
