We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
