New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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