I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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