who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
