you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Actions speak louder than pants.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
