You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
and you fell through a lawn chair
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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