best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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