I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
