Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
