so let's talk penis.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
