i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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