so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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