you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
