no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
