Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
