Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
