We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
