hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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