using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
