yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
