I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
