i was rollin on her like bob the builder
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
