I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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