Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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