i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
