I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We are all done wearing pants today
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
