And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
