in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You may now shotgun with the bride
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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