You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
