yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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