Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Someone came in the potted fern
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
