Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
