I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
