I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
