Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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