If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
