I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
