Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
