So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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