listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
